The ability to manage your
emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance.
TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve
found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in
times of stress in order to remain calm and in control.
If you follow our newsletter,
you’ve read some startling research summaries that explore the havoc stress can
wreak on one’s physical and mental health (such as the Yale study, which found
that prolonged stress causes degeneration in the area of the brain responsible
for self-control). The tricky thing about stress (and the anxiety that comes
with it) is that it’s an absolutely necessary emotion. Our brains are wired
such that it’s difficult to take action until we feel at least some level of
this emotional state. In fact, performance peaks under the heightened
activation that comes with moderate levels of stress. As long as the stress isn’t
prolonged, it’s harmless.
Research from the University of
California, Berkeley, reveals an upside to experiencing moderate levels of
stress. But it also reinforces how important it is to keep stress under
control. The study, led by post-doctoral fellow Elizabeth Kirby, found that the
onset of stress entices the brain into growing new cells responsible for
improved memory. However, this effect is only seen when stress is intermittent.
As soon as the stress continues beyond a few moments into a prolonged state, it
suppresses the brain’s ability to develop new cells.
“I think intermittent stressful
events are probably what keeps the brain more alert, and you perform better
when you are alert,” Kirby says. For animals, intermittent stress is the bulk
of what they experience, in the form of physical threats in their immediate
environment. Long ago, this was also the case for humans. As the human brain
evolved and increased in complexity, we’ve developed the ability to worry and
perseverate on events, which creates frequent experiences of prolonged stress.
Besides increasing your risk of
heart disease, depression, and obesity, stress decreases your cognitive
performance. Fortunately, though, unless a lion is chasing you, the bulk of
your stress is subjective and under your control. Top performers have
well-honed coping strategies that they employ under stressful circumstances. This
lowers their stress levels regardless of what’s happening in their environment,
ensuring that the stress they experience is intermittent and not prolonged.
While I’ve run across numerous
effective strategies that successful people employ when faced with stress, what
follows are ten of the best. Some of these strategies may seem obvious, but the
real challenge lies in recognizing when you need to use them and having the
wherewithal to actually do so in spite of your stress.
They Appreciate What They Have
Taking time to contemplate what
you’re grateful for isn’t merely the “right” thing to do. It also improves your
mood, because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research conducted
at the University of California, Davis found that people who worked daily to
cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy, and
physical well-being. It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol played a major
role in this.
They Avoid Asking “What If?”
“What if?” statements throw fuel
on the fire of stress and worry. Things can go in a million different
directions, and the more time you spend worrying about the possibilities, the
less time you’ll spend focusing on taking action that will calm you down and
keep your stress under control. Calm people know that asking “what if? will
only take them to a place they don’t want—or need—to go.
They Stay Positive
Positive thoughts help make
stress intermittent by focusing your brain’s attention onto something that is
completely stress-free. You have to give your wandering brain a little help by
consciously selecting something positive to think about. Any positive thought
will do to refocus your attention. When things are going well, and your mood is
good, this is relatively easy. When things are going poorly, and your mind is
flooded with negative thoughts, this can be a challenge. In these moments,
think about your day and identify one positive thing that happened, no matter
how small. If you can't think of something from the current day, reflect on the
previous day or even the previous week. Or perhaps you’re looking forward to an
exciting event that you can focus your attention on. The point here is that you
must have something positive that you're ready to shift your attention to when
your thoughts turn negative.
They Disconnect
Given the importance of keeping
stress intermittent, it’s easy to see how taking regular time off the grid can
help keep your stress under control. When you make yourself available to your
work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing
yourself offline and even—gulp!—turning off your phone gives your body a break
from a constant source of stress. Studies have shown that something as simple
as an email break can lower stress levels.
Technology enables constant
communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is
extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an email
that will change your train of thought and get you thinking (read: stressing)
about work can drop onto your phone at any moment. If detaching yourself from
work-related communication on weekday evenings is too big a challenge, then how
about the weekend? Choose blocks of time where you cut the cord and go offline.
You’ll be amazed at how refreshing these breaks are and how they reduce stress
by putting a mental recharge into your weekly schedule. If you’re worried about
the negative repercussions of taking this step, first try doing it at times
when you’re unlikely to be contacted—maybe Sunday morning. As you grow more
comfortable with it, and as your coworkers begin to accept the time you spend
offline, gradually expand the amount of time you spend away from technology.
They Limit Their Caffeine
Intake
Drinking caffeine triggers the
release of adrenaline. Adrenaline is the source of the “fight-or-flight”
response, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for
the hills when faced with a threat. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps
rational thinking in favor of a faster response. This is great when a bear is
chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt email. When
caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyperaroused state of stress, your
emotions overrun your behavior. The stress that caffeine creates is far from
intermittent, as its long half-life ensures that it takes its sweet time working
its way out of your body.
They Sleep
I’ve beaten this one to death
over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing
your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep,
your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and
storing or discarding them (which causes dreams), so that you wake up alert and
clear-headed. Your self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when you
don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. Sleep deprivation raises stress
hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. Stressful projects
often make you feel as if you have no time to sleep, but taking the time to get
a decent night’s sleep is often the one thing keeping you from getting things
under control.
They Squash Negative Self-Talk
A big step in managing stress
involves stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on
negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts
are just that—thoughts, not facts. When you find yourself believing the
negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says, it's time to stop and
write them down. Literally stop what you're doing and write down what you're
thinking. Once you've taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your
thoughts, you will be more rational and clear-headed in evaluating their
veracity.
You can bet that your statements
aren’t true any time you use words like “never,” “worst,” “ever,” etc. If your
statements still look like facts once they’re on paper, take them to a friend
or colleague you trust and see if he or she agrees with you. Then the truth
will surely come out. When it feels like something always or never happens,
this is just your brain’s natural threat tendency inflating the perceived
frequency or severity of an event. Identifying and labeling your thoughts as
thoughts by separating them from the facts will help you escape the cycle of
negativity and move toward a positive new outlook.
They Reframe Their Perspective
Stress and worry are fueled by
our own skewed perception of events. It’s easy to think that unrealistic
deadlines, unforgiving bosses, and out-of-control traffic are the reasons we’re
so stressed all the time. You can’t control your circumstances, but you can
control how you respond to them. So before you spend too much time dwelling on
something, take a minute to put the situation in perspective. If you aren’t
sure when you need to do this, try looking for clues that your anxiety may not
be proportional to the stressor. If you’re thinking in broad, sweeping
statements such as “Everything is going wrong” or “Nothing will work out,” then
you need to reframe the situation. A great way to correct this unproductive
thought pattern is to list the specific things that actually are going wrong or
not working out. Most likely you will come up with just some things—not
everything—and the scope of these stressors will look much more limited than it
initially appeared.
They Breathe
The easiest way to make stress
intermittent lies in something that you have to do everyday anyway: breathing.
The practice of being in the moment with your breathing will begin to train
your brain to focus solely on the task at hand and get the stress monkey off
your back. When you’re feeling stressed, take a couple of minutes to focus on
your breathing. Close the door, put away all other distractions, and just sit
in a chair and breathe. The goal is to spend the entire time focused only on
your breathing, which will prevent your mind from wandering. Think about how it
feels to breathe in and out. This sounds simple, but it’s hard to do for more
than a minute or two. It’s all right if you get sidetracked by another thought;
this is sure to happen at the beginning, and you just need to bring your focus
back to your breathing. If staying focused on your breathing proves to be a
real struggle, try counting each breath in and out until you get to 20, and
then start again from 1. Don’t worry if you lose count; you can always just
start over.
This task may seem too easy or
even a little silly, but you’ll be surprised by how calm you feel afterward and
how much easier it is to let go of distracting thoughts that otherwise seem to
have lodged permanently inside your brain.
They Use Their Support System
It’s tempting, yet entirely
ineffective, to attempt tackling everything by yourself. To be calm and
productive, you need to recognize your weaknesses and ask for help when you
need it. This means tapping into your support system when a situation is
challenging enough for you to feel overwhelmed. Everyone has someone at work
and/or outside work who is on their team, rooting for them, and ready to help
them get the best from a difficult situation. Identify these individuals in
your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need
it. Something as simple as talking about your worries will provide an outlet
for your anxiety and stress and supply you with a new perspective on the
situation. Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t
because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation. Asking for help
will mitigate your stress and strengthen your relationships with those you rely
upon.
About the author: Dr. Travis
Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional
Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world's leading
provider of emotional intelligence tests, emotional intelligence training, and
emotional intelligence certification, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500
companies.
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